Ax Man Back! A Reunion of Sorts for JR’s Ramblings!

29 09 2009

Just when I thought YOU weren’t getting a Tuesday Ramblings, the Eagles went and made another odd move in what seems like an endless supply since last free agency started. We’ve been through them all so I won’t re-hash, but really, did you ever think Jeremiah Trotter would be back on this team in any other capacity besides, “team ambassador.” I knew you didn’t. Anyways, on to the real thing………… Read the rest of this entry »





Plaxico Found by the Sistas? Phillies Still Closer-less? It’s Ramblings Time………

25 09 2009

by John Ryan

In my busyness (editor’s note: Go back to sleep old man, you’ve got a long day of drinking and beating the shi* out of me tomorrow), I neglected to fire off a ramblings early in the week. Because of this travesty, you get a preview of the coming weekend as opposed to a recap. Off we go………

1.) The NY Daily News is Reporting Plaxico Burress is having a rough first week in prison. I gotta say this right off the bat: I think it’s hilarious. He’s a 6’6″ NFL player, and yet he is probably scared to death. While I won’t say prison is a joke, I just keep

Who was that idiot's lawyer?

Who was that idiot's lawyer?

thinking the situation is a joke. He shot himself in the leg (what irony) and he winds up getting two years in prison. Meanwhile, the following people have served less or no prison sentences: OJ Simpson, Donte Stallworth, Michael Vick, Ray Lewis. Quite a list. I wonder if he is having a rough time because in Rykers Island, the majority of the inmates are probably Jets fans, or is it because “Boggs” and the “Sistas” found him in there and want to know his sexual orientation. I guarantee you, though, two things will never happen again after this day: Plax will never catch another NFL pass, and Boggs and the Sistas will have instant street cred in prison. Is raping an NFL player (and one who’s 6’6″ for God’s sake!) the most incredible thing an inmate could do? What would be more brag worthy in the surreal world of prison? Hope I never get the answer to that trivia question the hard way……… Read the rest of this entry »





Week 1 Ramblings by JR

14 09 2009

Week 1 is always special in the NFL for reasons I’ve already written about, but here’s a bunch more reasons: These are actual events that happened at my pal Fred’s house:

Week 1 NFL: Where getting farted on by one of your buddies happens!Fart Read the rest of this entry »





The Pics are in: A Special Ramblings, Opening Night/Phils Crusher Edition

10 09 2009

First game of the 2009 NFL season, and a crushing Phillies defeat can mean only one thing: A Ramblings by JR (and about 5-7 extra

I think I smoke a bit too much when games go to overtime.

I think I smoke a bit too much when games go to overtime.

cigarettes burned down since the game was long and went into overtime). Without any more intro’ let’s just get into it:

1.) Steelers win opening NFL game of 2009 vs. Titans. This was a great game for anyone who doesn’t care about high scoring, or doesn’t have Chris Johnson or any other Titan on their fantasy football team. (JR’s note: I have Chris Johnson and talked myself into playing him despite the unfavorable matchup. I just could not justify playing Julius Jones over Johnson because Johnson was an early pick, and I have Ted Ginn, Jr. going because of Pierre Thomas’ injury.) The Steelers defense looked great, but that’s also a byproduct of a horrid Tennessee offense. As I said in Monday’s Ramblings, Vince Young will be starting at some point this year for Tennessee. Aside the actual facts of the game, I can’t fully explain how excited I was for the NFL season. Anyone who has read anything I’ve written knows the Read the rest of this entry »





JR’s Ramblings: Weekend Recap, NFL Mini-Preview, and Other Random Thoughts

8 09 2009

by John Ryan

Well, another summer in the books and on to bigger and better things like MLB playoffs, NFL weekend kicking off, Enticing College Football match-ups, and of course the return of 90210 and Melrose Place to “The CW.” I always love Labor day weekend. It signifies the end of summer and opens up aforementioned new adventures in sports and pop culture. Anyway, It was a great weekend, let’s recap it all and get ready for this coming weekend.

1.) Old Powerhouses Michigan and Notre Dame looked good. And I thought Rich Rodriguez would fold under pressure like “Chunk” getting Gooniesthe third degree from the “Fratelli’s.” Michigan faded in the second half, but was very impressive none the less. Ditto Notre Dame. They shut out a Nevada squad who looked to be a big time offense in 2009. I thought BYU showed some great moxie against Oklahoma, but as I’ve discussed in this space before, BYU players have the built in advantage of not being smokers/drinkers/gamblers/fornicators that virtually every other college kid has working against him while competing. Just the way of the world for the Mormons. Has there ever been a greater advantage than that? Why haven’t they won more national titles?

2.) Brad Lidge is scaring me now, for real. And Brett Myers is back. Does that not make perfect sense. Look, I get it, Manuel is loyal to his guys and Lidge has looked much better of late. But here’s two reasons why Manuel will eventually replace Lidge

"I wasn't drunk in public, I was drunk in a bar. They threw me into public!"

"I wasn't drunk in public, I was drunk in a bar. They threw me into public!"

with Myers or someone else: 1.) Manuel, despite being loyal to a fault to his guys, knows he needs a eliable option at the end of games. He can and will replace ANYONE on his roster. 2.) Lidge’s confidence is his own worst enemy. As soon as he misses on a few pitches or can’t get the slider over early he falls apart like a mid-week Fox comedy. It’s just over before it starts. Speaking of which, what are the odds before FOX throws out a new buddy comedy or life-crisis comedy involving any of the following actors: David Alan Grier, Jay Mohr, James Belushi, any of the Wayans brothers, or any one of the “Blue Collar Tour” comedians who are as overrated as the Jets this year as a sleeper pick (editor’s note – Gary Unmarried wasn’t half bad and it’s unfair to lump Ron White with those other pathetic slapdicks). Read the rest of this entry »





Charles Barkley Quotes

29 10 2008

by MIchael DeLuca

He entered the league as “The Round Mound of Rebound” and left as “Sir Charles.”  In 1993 he was the NBA’s Most Valuable Player and in 2006, he was elected to the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame.  Yet, despite all of his on court exploits, it’s his off-court antics that have entertained us the most.  With the NBA season tipping off last night and Barkley resuming his role as TNT’s “Most Colorful” Commentator, what better time than to make a top 20 list of my favorite Charles Barkley quotes. 

20. Ernie: “Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.”
Charles: “20 points and 10 rebounds will get you through also!”

19. “I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.”

18. The goal of the ’92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama: “To get the Canal back.”

17. After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar fight, Charles in court…
Judge: “Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?”
Charles: “Yeah I regret we weren’t on a higher floor”

16. “My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, ‘Hey, I’m rich’.”

15. “These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.” Read the rest of this entry »





The Rules of Bedroom Golf:

5 09 2008

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again. Read the rest of this entry »





Funniest Letter EVER!

3 09 2008

It takes some insanely good humor to make me laugh out loud from the written word, but the following letter made me do just that.  And since motorcycling can be considered sport, I figured it’s not too much of a reach to include it on this site.  It does contain some adult language, but it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read and I thought you might enjoy. Read the rest of this entry »





Dropping Anchor: A Group I Wouldn’t Want To See Walking Out

16 08 2008

by John Ryan


Figures in sports can be a lot of things when you see them in public. They can invoke a feeling of awe, and they can make you smile. They can elicit negative feelings when they blow you off, or they can make you change your mind about previously held perceptions. What they usually don’t do is horrify you. Think it can’t happen, you say? Well there are some examples: Mike Tyson in an ally way, Hollis Thomas in a buffet line, Nick Mangold watching a re-run of a fictional “Viking Quest” (doesn’t the guy look like a Viking?), or Sal Fasano on a beach sans shirt. But quite simply the most horrifying thing you could ever see are the following ten people leaving a bathroom stall sweating profusely with a newspaper under their armpit and moaning like Bing Crosby : Read the rest of this entry »





Who am I kidding?

1 08 2008

The Mind Is Willing

by John Leon                                                            

 

            Friday the 13th. Ah yes, time to reflect on all of the supposed bad things that can happen to a person on this date. Yes, we all know the stories of Mary Leeds, who allegedly gave birth to the 13th child on the 13th and it turned into the Jersey Devil. I think what’s worse is that, as we get older, and yes I’m one of those people, you start to believe what your mind tells you to. Read the rest of this entry »








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