PCP Sports

by John Ryan

It’s December and the turkey is over? No way. From where I sit, after Thanksgiving theres always two more times for turkey(s): When the BCS bowl games get picked, and Christmas. After another wild weekend in sports where turkeys were the main theme, the BCS selection commitee once again secured first place in the “Turkey Bowl”, taking all the guess work out of the old “playoffs vs. bowl games” argument. In my opinion, its not an argument, and i’m holding firm on that. Done and done. On to the ramblings……..

1.) Oklahoma passes Texas in the BCS standings despite Texas not losing and Oklahoma losing to Texas in the Red River shootout. I already explained my disdain for this scenario, so we’ll leave it with one more thought: To the arrogant pigs who run NCAA football, a holiday letter. Dear Pigs, you are hypocrits and use kids as pawns to line your pockets. Stop 1.) pretending you care about their education and 2.) install the playoff system. When the president elect wants it, you should just do it. Shorten the season to 10 games, have an 8 team playoff system based on rankings, and then pat yourself on the back for doing what needed to be done 20-30 years ago. As of right now your more selfish than Latrell Sprewell turning down a 3 year 21 million dollar contract because “he has a family to feed.” Pigs. OK, I’m done. Promise. (One More: WHAT A BUNCH OF TURKEYS!!!!)

2.) Plaxico Burress shot himself. I’m not kidding. It reminds me of Will Ferrell as “Mustafa” in the Austin Powers movies. Do you think he shot himself, and then in a puzzled daze yelled out in a childish voice, “OOOWWW, I’ve just shot myself. I’m hurt very badly. If someone would just hide my gun in New Jersey I will be fine, but I am shot and injured very badly. Please help. Anyone.” (Side Note: How pissed is Antonio Pierce? Enough to steal money from Plax? Sleep with his girlfriend/wife? Enough to get Coughlin to make him run 20 gassers? I wish I could see him confront Burress. That would be high comedy, and very compelling.) Everyone together: WHAT A TURKEY!!!!

3.) No news on baseball free agency other than K-Rod plans to wait until the winter meetings, and some non-descript Japenese amatuer has Eli Manning-ed the professional teams and signed with the suddently Pacific Rim-ish Red Sox. Soon as one Boras client signs, the dominos will fall. The man has more foresight and vision than the following people put together: Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Bill Gates, and Lil’ Wayne.

4.) Ok, so I won’t flip flop again, but the 76ers are bad. They will probably still make the playoffs, but if they missed it I wouldn’t be shocked. I know it’s early, but their team defense is horrid, Andre Miller looks about 45, and Iggy is a lost soul right now. They also lack something major: identity. What are they? They don’t get enough spacing in the half court game, but don’t run nearly as much. No plan what so ever. And what happened to Lou WIlliams? Instead of running the floor and pushing/penetrating he just heaves up bad 3′s and plays no defense on the other end. They need a face lift, and I have faith in Stefanski…..BUT……..I couldn’t help but fool around with ESPN’s trade machine to try and “fix” the 76ers. Here’s a few thoughts: Michael Redd, Mike Conley, Jr, Mike Miller, Kirk Heinrich. Those are just a few names I was fiddling with, but here’s the general thought: The 76ers have two major peices to deal right now (3 if you count WIllie Green, and 4 if anyone is dumb enough to take Sammy D). What they need is a shooter. Iggy is great, but doesn’t fit with this team now. Michael Redd would be perfect. Also, Andre Miller is in the last year of his deal, and I would DEFINITLY trade him if i could get a young PG who can play and an experienced vet who can hoist the rock in return. As currently constructed, this team is going the same place it went last year……#7 playoff seed and slightly frisky in the first round but nothing beyond that ceiling.

5.) Big win from the Eagles, but as the saying goes, “a day late and a dollar short” rings truer than ever. Good weekend in the NFL, as well. Anyways, here’s how I see the playoffs through 13 weeks: NFC 1.) NY Giants 2.) Carolina 3.) Minny 4.) Arizona 5.) Dallas 6.) Tampa Bay. Before we do AFC, here’s my logic/breakdown. First point: I know TB looked great Sunday, but they’re down Earnest Graham, and pardon me if I don’t trust an aging Warrick Dunn and a leaky Carnell Williams as a RB tandem. Sorry, I don’t. Second Point: Dallas looks great again, but could falter. They have a tough ending schedule, and Barber is feeling discomfort in his foot/toe. Not a fun thing as a RB. On the cusp: Atlanta, New Orleans, Washington, Chicago, Philly. Of those, I feel good about only Atlanta, New Orleans, and Washington, but Philly could change my mind after this weekend. AFC : 1.) Tennessee 2.) Pittsburgh 3.) NY Jets 4.) Denver 5.) Indy 6.) New England. Sorry, I’m not ready to discount NE and Indy yet. Not yet. On the cusp: Miami and Baltimore. Buffalo proved this weekend they’re a fraud.

6.) Now that “Entourage” is over (and I don’t have Showtime for “Californication”) I’ll stick to football on sundays, with some holiday movies sprinkled in. My favorites holiday movies, in no particular order: 1.) “Christmas Vacation” (great movie even when it’s not holiday season) 2.) “Planes, Trains, and Automoblies” (ditto, though techincally a Thanksgiving movie) 3.) “Elf” 4.) “The Ref” (If you havent seen this yet, go rent it. Now. Or buy it on Amazon.com for about $2.99) 5.) “Charlie Brown’s Christmas” (a classic) 6.) “Home Alone” (see previous explanation) 7.) “Bad Santa” (typical Coen Brothers ending, but lots of laughs) 8.) “Jingle All the Way” (classic Arnold)

7.) Turkey Sandwich Time: Plain, on a kaiser, snowflake roll, or white bread, with Miracle Whip (Mayo acceptable) and either a Lipton Iced Tea, a Coke, or a great Beer. (Chips optional. Pickles appreciated)